Time of Trouble
by Kepler
Summary: After Mr. Bingley leaves, Elizabeth's father asks her to consider a marriage with Mr. Collins in order to save the Bennett famiy after he is gone. Evidenlty he under estimated Elizabeth reliance on his opinion. Warning: Absurd notice capital A
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first go at fan fiction so be nice. I didn't try to pull off Jane Austen's style because I already know it would never work for me, and you people would all laugh at me behind me back ******** (stop laughing Emma)**

**By the way P&P does not belong to me. I hope at this point we all know who wrote it.**

**Without farther ado I present to you a tragic comedy in two acts. I might also mention that this tragic comedy lacks logic at certain points… It's absurd (don't laugh I did not make that up it is a genre)… so just go with me on this one. **

**Setup: Mr. Bennet gets Mr. Collins to put the propose off for a day so he can see if anything will come of Mr. Bingley and Jane. In this way Jane's marriage will secure the future of the Bennet family instead of Mr. Collins; however, Bingley leaves and Mr. Bennett prepares Elizabeth for the inevitable proposal of Mr. Collins in his library the night before, urging her to think carefully on the matter. Misconception ensues about what Mr. Bennet is actually asking of Elizabeth.**

**None of this has been edited so I'm sure there are mistakes. **

Chapter 1

A mute Elizabeth sitting in front of her father's desk was too shocked to say anything. How could her father do this to her? No question to it she MUST be dreaming. Her father would never force a marriage to Mr. Collins on her. With this fact decided Elizabeth looked up into her anxious father's eyes.

"Pardon me papa, I do not believe I heard you properly. Could you say that again?"

Mr. Bennet resumed the pacing "I would like for you to consider Mr. Collin's proposal more carefully. Marring him would bring security to your mother and sisters once I am gone and can no longer provide for you." Replied Mr. Bennet as he nervously twisted the ring on his finger. He did not want to force her into marriage with such an idiot that she could never respect, but he fear for his family once he was gone. Not for the first time Mr. Bennet wished the buffoon's attentions had turned toward Mary instead of his favorite daughter.

Meanwhile Elizabeth became convinced she was dreaming. No, not dreaming—this was a nightmare. _It's Ok… _she calmly instructed herself. "_just close your eyes and count to ten. When you look up everything will be fine again."_

Mr. Bennet nervously awaited his daughter's response. With her eyes closed, head down, Mr. Bennet began to wonder if she hadn't fainted. Just when Mr. Bennet truly was getting worried her head slowly started to come up. Mr. Bennett could see the panic forming in her now wide eyes.

Elizabeth reached her right hand across her lap to pinch her left arm, still trying to deny the reality of the situation. "Dear Lord!" she gasped.

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Thus Elizabeth found herself on the alter three weeks later with that insipid fool of a man Mr. Collins.

"_How in Hades name did I get here!_" Elizabeth screamed in her head. "_Never in my life did I believe I could marry a man I could not even respect let alone love._"

In all honesty Elizabeth knew that if she ever could respect Mr. Collins, at that point in time she must stop respecting herself. How had she let it get this far? She should have stuck with her first instinct and flat out rejected the man. It was her respected father that had urged her to consider the matter more seriously. To accept the man who would bring security to her family. Still it seemed to her this security had a high price. Ultimately it was the lack of Mr. Bingley's return that had forced Elizabeth conscience and therefore, herself, onto the alter. If Mr. Bingley had returned she would have talk Collins out of the marriage at anytime, easily swayed as he was, but Bingley had not returned for her sister in three week nor was there ANY word from him in London.

Elizabeth briefly looked up at the family minister performing the ceremony. Elizabeth had insisted on a long ceremony, knowing the longer it lasted the more likely she was to change her mind and still have time to think up a way to get out of it. Elizabeth the cast a glance to Mr. Collins who seemed entranced with the ministers every word on the "holy" state of marriage. Not wasting her time observing her cousin, Elizabeth expanded her search around the room for some idea.

Elizabeth chanced a glance at her father only to find him seated in the front pew staring at his shoes. "_He has been doing that a lot lately_."

Mr. Bennet had indeed been looking at his shoe for quite awhile. "_I did not think she would __**actually**__ accept him! I just did not want her too refuse him. I man like Mr. Collins would allow himself to be lead for years without an actual understanding, so long as Lizzy did not refuse him in the way she can be known to do. Oh dear what am I going to do now?_"

In the mist of Mr. Bennet's deep concentrations, he failed to notice the commotion currently taking place in the back of the church.

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Georgiana Darcy had been playing the piano for some time before her brother finally arrived back from his club. The moment Fitzwilliam entered the parlor at which his sister was playing, Georgiana jump from her piano bench with such force as to send it crashing to the floor. However, not to beaten by mere gravity, she was a Darcy after all, Georgiana was in her brother's arms for a tight hugs before the bench become fully horizontal on the perfectly polished wooden floor.

"Will! I have missed you all day. You didn't tell me you were going anywhere today. Really Will I know you don't like it when people complain, but I never get to see anyone except the Bingley sisters who by the way were here today." Fitzwilliam and Georgiana proving to be siblings made the same face of disgust then noting the expression on the face before them quickly coughed and continued as nothing happened.

Moving away from his sister, William cleared his throat and took a seat on one of the chairs in the parlor. Georgiana returned to her piano bench, which had been righted by servant shortly after its trip to the ground. Picking out a soft tune on the keyboard Georgiana continued her question of her brother's whereabouts for the day.

William, not willing to reveal to his little sister the full extent of his business, hoped to appease her with the response "Charles was felling a little down so I stopped by his house a took him to the club." However, William's brief explanation had the opposite of the intended effect.

Georgiana's melody died instantly as she swiveled around on the bench and stared a hole straight into his head. "Charles feeling down?"

"_Crap! Of course that sounds ridiculous! I should have just lied. It would have been more believable._" Trying to act as if nothing was out of the ordinary Darcy "casually" picked up a newspaper in an attempt to distracted his sister. "Yes, and don't look at me like that. Everyone has their highs and lows even Charles. Now let's see who is getting married."

"Not so fast mister. I'm not eight anymore, and I will not be so easily distracted. What has happened to put Charles Bingley out of spirits?"

"Really nothing has happened." Will continued to purse the wedding announcements if not at least to distract himself. As Georgiana continued to chatter about Charles Bingley, Darcy picked up a cup of tea that had been set down early by the servants in expectance of his arrival.

However, suddenly the tea was all over the paper and Will was on his feet.

Georgiana's mouth dropped. "Too hot?"

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"If anyone has any cause why these two should not be joined in Holy matrimony speak now or forever hold your peace…" The minister gave an anxious glance to Mr. Bennet, literally praying to god for divine intervention on Miss Elizabeth's behalf. What took place, however, was not the kind of "divine" intervention the minister had been praying for. Even if the Lord works in mysterious ways, this one was down right baffling.

**Well did I captivate your interest? Sorry it is so short. Stories not really started yet. Reviews welcome. **

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Chapter 2 preview

"Why is your father chasing us!?!"

Elizabeth stared at Darcy incredulously from the bottom of the carriage floor "You can not be serious. **Why is my father chasing us! Maybe it is because you just absconded with his (favorite) Daughter from her alter! No, that is too simple. **I will leave it to you then to find the reason. Maybe it is because you did not tip the stable boys."

"Oh come now, it was not that bad."

"Wasn'tthatbad…" Thinking back that whole event had been rather quick. In complete silence Mr. Darcy stood up and objected to the marriage on the grounds that Elizabeth was already taken. The whole church stared blankly at Darcy, perhaps Mr. Collins most of all. Before anybody had time to come to their senses, Mr. Darcy had stocked up the aisle, grabbed Elizabeth by her waist and threw her over his shoulder army style. Elizabeth had come to her sense only enough to murmur, "This quite undignified, Sir" before the two had exited through the door.

Once outside the church, Darcy placed Elizabeth inside his carriage, climbed in himself and gave the order for the driver to go.

At this point in time Mr. Bennet had realized that something was wrong. "Did Elizabeth make a run for it?" Needless to say, he had not been paying the up most attention to the ceremony, "Damn! What happened?"

"O, Mr. Bennet, you must save us. What will become of meee… I mean us once you are dead? O, Girls we are ruined, and it is all Lizzy's fault. Running off with that horrid Mr. Darcy," screeched Mrs. Bennet into the **still** quiet and unmoving church.

"Great, there goes that blasted women again. Publishing our problems to the world…**What**!? **Mr. Darcy did what? When!**"

Mr. Bennet rushed out of the church grabbed the nearest horse, asked the direction, and gave chase.

Another shot rang out startling Elizabeth who jumped into Darcy's arms. Elizabeth, now even further startled to find herself in Darcy's arm, let out a squeal and tired to remove herself from the compromising position.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry, another short one. Once again it's not been edited and I haven't even read it besides when I typed it. Oh well, get over. I figured you guys wanted to read this next chapter and could deal with a wrong tense here or there. **

Chapter 2

"If anyone has any cause why these two should not be joined in Holy matrimony speak now or forever hold your peace…"

The church was filled with silence and the coughs and shifting of people in their chairs

"I object!"

The whole church gave a collective audible gasp. Followed by the scraping of chairs as everybody in the church turned to get a good look at who in the community had the guts to save Miss. Elizabeth (who the neighborhood had been secretly calling the Unfortunate One for the past three weeks).

Another collective gasp sounded and reverberated on the stonewalls of the church once they realized who the speaker was.

"Mr. Darcy!" the shocked church cried.

"Well this is quite irregular." Mr. Darcy voiced his opinion.

The snickering at the alter brought the church's attention back to the front and the source of the unexpected laughter.

Elizabeth upon the notice of everyone now watching her, including Mr. Darcy, burst out in her defense: "What!? He just said," in her best impersonation of Mr. Darcy "'Well this is quite irregular.'" After receiving blank stares she went on to explain, "…you see because people are staring at him now…and you know, it's funny…because people are always staring at him…"

"Are not!"

"Yes they do."

"Ok, fine they do."

"Please, don't be modest for our sakes."

More blank stares.

"He just objected to a marriage!" The joke still lost on the community she further stated "You know because people don't object to marriages that often…and he just said 'Well this is most irregular' as though he's not doing anything odd."

After the passage of a few seconds, and after it became clear that Elizabeth was fighting a losing battle, the minister clear his throat and stumbled out "Mr…M..Mr. Darcy? Um… I um, (clears throat once more) For what reason do you object to this marriage Mr. Darcy?"

"Because she is already **taken**." Another gasp echoed throughout the church as the community misinterpreted the meaning of Darcy's words. The silence and stillness that met Darcy left him somewhat baffled. With nothing left to say in Darcy's mind and took advantage of the freeze in time that seemed to occur and marched up the aisle.

Upon reaching Miss. Bennet, Darcy debated the best way to carry her.

_Bridal style: might accidentally hit her head on the door (you laugh but I've seen it done)_

_Army style over the shoulder: lacking on the gentle side but uses less energy._

_Is there another way to carry someone? I'll have to look it up when I get back to Pemberley, or maybe I should ask Fitzwilliam. Seems like something I should know. _

Throwing Elizabeth over his shoulder, Darcy turned and proceeded to march back down the aisle humming _Here Comes the Bride_.

Upon exiting the church with Elizabeth, Darcy delivered Elizabeth into the escape carriage outside and knocked on the top once he was also seated inside. The driver did the Ha! thing which more than anything else just startled the horses into motion.

"Well, I think that went well" voiced Darcy.

A shocked Elizabeth could do nothing but stare. "_**Taken**__, what the hell is that suppose to mean? Wait…did he just say went well?"_

Elizabeth's slight turn of the head was all the response he got. Slowly her right arm reached across her lap and pinched her left arm. "_I hate the world._"

Suddenly a shot ring out in the not to far distance.

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"_If that stupid HA! had not have come out of nowhere, I would not have been startled and tripped going down the church stairs_." Grumbled and cranky Mr. Bennet. Due to his less that perfect attention to his favorite daughter's wedding ceremony, he had probably missed one of the single most hilarious events Hertfordshire had ever seen. "_Last time I don't pay attention to a wedding ceremony. _ _That's right God! I'm going to pay attention to wedding ceremonies from now on! What are you going to do about that?"_ (Author's note: don't be offended people. God is good and God is great…so is gold actually)

"Mr. Bennet!"

"Oh! Where'd you come from? What are you doing? Why am I on a horse? Why is it moving? I don't think I've ever been on a horse going this fast. Wait. When did I get on a horse? Are we doing something? Seems like something important has slipped my mind. Oh well. I could use a drink. Want one?"

"Mr. Bennet we're chasing Mr. Darcy to win back Miss. Elizabeth's honor. This is not the time for a drink" yelled across the son of Sir Lucas from another horse. For indeed they were moving at quite a pace and how Mr. Bennet could continue to sit upright was beyond Mr. Lucas.

"Oh yea, that's right. I knew I was doing something important. Oh well, I could use a drink anyway. Taking a hand from the reins, Mr. Bennet reached in his pocket and started shuffling around.

And with that Mr. Bennet produced a bottle and a glass from his jacket and attempted to pour the liquid into the glass. However, at this point Mr. Bennet and a few other men from the church (for the rest of the community stayed behind to watch the wedding of Mr. Collins and Mary Bennet) were in hot pursed of Mr. Darcy's get away carriage, and the liquid spilled ever where but the glass.

"Blast!" Mr. Bennet replaced the glass and bottle back into his coat and leaning over his horse for more balance and speed. "Ok, What's the plan?"

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"Why is your father chasing us!?!"

Elizabeth stared at Darcy incredulously from the bottom of the carriage floor "You can not be serious. **Why is my father chasing us! Maybe it is because you just absconded with his (favorite) Daughter from her alter! No, that is too simple. **I will leave it to you then to find the reason. Maybe it is because you did not tip the stable boys."

"Oh come now, it was not that bad."

"Wasn't that bad…" Thinking back that whole event had been rather quick. In complete silence Mr. Darcy stood up and objected to the marriage on the grounds that Elizabeth was already taken. The whole church stared blankly at Darcy, perhaps Mr. Collins most of all. Before anybody had time to come to their senses, Mr. Darcy had stocked up the aisle, grabbed Elizabeth by her waist and threw her over his shoulder army style. Elizabeth had come to her sense only enough to murmur, "This quite undignified, Sir" before the two had exited through the door.

Once outside the church, Darcy placed Elizabeth inside his carriage, climbed in himself and gave the order for the driver to go.

It was at this point in time Mr. Bennet realized that something was wrong. "Did Elizabeth make a run for it?" Needless to say, he had not been paying the up most attention to the ceremony, "Damn! What happened?"

"O, Mr. Bennet, you must save us. What will become of meee… I mean us once you are dead? O, Girls we are ruined, and it is all Lizzy's fault. Running off with that horrid Mr. Darcy," screeched Mrs. Bennet into the **still** quiet and unmoving church.

"_Great, there goes that blasted women again. Publishing our problems to the world_… "**What**!? **Mr. Darcy did what? When!**"

Mr. Bennet rushed out of the church grabbed the nearest horse, asked the direction, and gave chase.

Another shot rang out startling Elizabeth back to the present and causing her to jump into Darcy's arms. Elizabeth, now even further startled to find herself in Darcy's arm, let out a squeal and tired to remove herself from the compromising position.

Darcy tapped out the secret code to the driver indicating to lose the people following behind.

"Please somebody SANE save me!"

"That's what I'm doing."

"God, why do you torture me?" Elizabeth succeeded in removing herself from Darcy's hold and repositioned herself back on the seat. Darcy too retook his seat on the opposite side of the carriage.

"Stop being so melodramatic. Who would you rather marry: the biggest fool on the face of the earth and servant to my aunt? Or a wealth attractive, intelligent man from good family and connection?"

"Who said you're good looking?" Darcy's face fell in confusion. "and I don't know about intelligent either." Before Darcy could protest Elizabeth stated, "You just informed the whole community that I'm Taken. Not in the hear one second gone the next sense." Seeing Darcy's blank face "put your mind in the gutter. What's something you only have once?"

"Oh! Mea Culpa"

"Your Culpa! I'll show you what's youra Culpa"

Elizabeth moved across the carriage and took Darcy by the neck.

"Hey! Let's…choke…not do…cough…anything drastic."

Suddenly the carriage came to abrupt halt throwing Elizabeth on the Mr. Darcy leaving them in a somewhat horizontal position as the door opened.

"Oh, um…Hi dad. How are you? Have you um…had your morning drink yet?

"Mr. Darcy if you would kindly step out of the carriage please."

"Yes, Certainly sir, of course." A little bit of maneuvering was required of Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth; however, Mr. Darcy soon stepped out of the carriage. Turning quickly to his driver he hissed, "I thought I told you to get rid of them!"

"Sorry, Sir what did you say?"

"Mr. Darcy if you would kindly step over this way with me, and Mr. Lucas if you would watch Miss. Elizabeth and make sure she doesn't do anything stupid. For clarification purposes that includes her leaving the carriage or the carriage moving in any way including but not limited to flipping upside down."

Elizabeth and Mr. Lucas stared at Mr. Bennet and slightly inclined their heads to the right as though somehow the world made more sense that way.

"Did he have his morning drink?"

"No, he spilled it."

"Crap."

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**Sorry, about the mistakes and no preview this time. It would ruin the cliffhanger. Tune in next time to see what Mr. Bennet does. **

**P.S. review or I'll create a terrible accident and send Mr. Darcy off a cliff. You don't want Mr. Darcy death on your conscience do you? **


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